Thursday, August 25, 2011

how far it has been



hello world.

this is now, a rare occasion for me to be back here. and if you haven't noticed, i've switched addresses

social media has progressed so much. there are now so many platforms and methods for us to express our feelings, our emotions. to get our points across. so much so, that ive almost complete abandoned this place.

but tonight, im here wondering; is social media the only thing that has progressed?

i think that, life has brought me to such a place that we're so connected, ive not been able to express my feelings like this, like i used to. im in some extent - in the "eye" of the public. and i feel like i have that responsibility to uphold a proper image.

personal things like this are getting harder and harder to keep. and im now pondering with half a heart whether i should make this blog private, or just change its name all together, since the title now stands for something else in my life



point is; ive just been thinking

i'm wondering how far i've come. this year has been a tough one. in more than one aspect. in more than one sense.

i feel like im not progressing at all. not in a way that i want. or that i should be.

and i feel like im not enough. that im damaged and flawed.


i feel like i should be more.

BigMan. help me. please. i need another refuel.

ming out


Saturday, January 1, 2011

and hello there 2011. my, you're here early



hello world. or probably, the minghan of year end 2011.
it's me, ming of the start of the year 2010. and yeah. tonight/ this early morning, im here. in front of the screen. and i guess its time again to just write down my thoughts.


i seem to like pictures like the one above alot. it just takes my breath away.. and inspires me to an extent.
and yes, anyway.




2010, you were a huge year in every way possible. and i cant believe how things have just flown by. neither do i know how i'm gonna write this out but here goes nothing

at the start of 2010, i wrote down this sentence in my year-end post.

"may this decade bring everything we never thought we'd be able to get"

and man, this year that has just passed has definitely begun to live up to that sentence. down to each word.


starting it off - in 2010, i've known more pain and emotional agony i ever believed i was able to suffer. i've known shallowness in people that i never thought possible. hypocrisy. lies. disgust. injustice. and just outright depression and disappointments. i learned what i never want, instead of the usual things that i would.

then i learned what it was to be still and to wait. to learn to breathe again. to wake up and open my eyes and know what i deserve, and what i dont. to say enough is enough. and let that, be that.



in 2010, i've gone places to perform that i never thought i would. in one year alone, ive played more gigs than the whole 21 years of my life. played at more places, got asked by more records, been heard by more people than i ever thought possible.

when i thought i had a feel for the music i play, this year has given me a new breath of life to it, a new point of view. new things to experience, new parts of my soul to search.

and ultimately, my first ever taste of what it is to be in the scene. with a production session coming up, i cant believe how far music has come in just a little under one year. i really cant.



in 2010, collectively, ive gotten to know more people in one year alone than i have in all my life. ive gotten close to a handful of people that i know i will cherish and keep close to heart. ive seen the diversity of thinking, living and character. and along the way, found more friends that are of the same wavelength and craziness.

in this year alone, i've found people that have hearts of gold. and to me, is something i treasure. people who i love spending time with. talking with. and at the same time, knowing how to tell the difference between people who are just skin deep, and those who speak from the depths of their being



in 2010, i have been blessed materially with more than i have even asked for, from my laptop to my equipment. i cant be more thankful for what i own. and i find it amazing that even at times when a wish or desire is at the back of my head, un-asked for, i am blessed with it anyway. and the feeling is just so indescribable.

oh. i also made my first trip to penang on my own. and genting too. haha. gosh that was good.






that being said, in every way i can think of, 2010 has outdone itself and the years before it.
truly, this decade has already begun bringing more that i ever thought it would



so, this year.

just a couple hours ago i put in "the beautiful letdown" into the player and heard the songs i've always heard.

but for some reason.
just for some reason. these lines stood out with so much presence than they used to

"maybe we've been living with our eyes half-open. maybe we're bent and broken"
"we were meant to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves? somewhere we live inside?"


so this year, that's my aim
to live for more. for what im meant to, and more.
for being more than more
to open my eyes to my weaknesses and overcome them.

and just live for so much more than this.
and gosh, if there's more than what ive already been thru


2011, let 'em rip



thankYou God. You are truly awesome.
in every way

i hoped a bit of it rubbed off on me. heh heh.

help me in this year ahead please. i already know that i cant do it without You

here's to 2011.

ming out