now.. what?

hello people of the world

this blog is officially dying. like really.

before i go any further lemme state how much i despise the quality of the internet in my area -_-

ok now i shall continue.

how's everyone? it's already almost halfway thru the 2nd month of the year 2009.. which apparantly just felt like it just started a while ago. why in the world are the days flying by so fast suddenly. sigh..

in just a while more, i got another bunch of friends leaving for unis in aussie, uk.. etc.. when is the leaving gonna endd laaaa

oh yeah that reminds me

i am now a registered student of Taylor's University's Bachelor Of Science Honours in Architecture. oh yeah that's quite a mouthful. believe me, it's a whole truckload-full of years as well. 6 years to be exact -_- 

by that time half of my friends wud already be working.. and proposing to their significant others.

i'm a uni student.

man... that really puts an impact on life huh. it's moving.. and it's moving fast.

somehow, i dont feel that easy with going into uni like this. i feel that there's still something out there waiting. but these months of being an official bummer has taught me something. i cant sit around and just do.. "nothing"

sure, going around doing oddjobs, random gigs, performances.. they count as something, but.. my parents worry alot i guess. i think i would too if i had to watch my post-A-Levels kid just sit around for 7 months.

oh yeah i've been bumming that long.

furthermore, being in this country, the amount and chances of oppurtunity to do anything in the music field.. are oh sooooo.. low. not to mention our amaazing support of local music.

it kinda feels sometimes like ur dreams get beaten into the ground.

but that's where i learned something else.

it's the beating that helps us sift out our desires from our passions. ive desired tonnes of things ever since i was a kid.

i wanted to be ultraman

i wanted to be a fireman

i wanted to join the power rangers once

i wanted to fly

i wanted to shoot fire from my eyes

i wanted to be a transformer

i wanted a cotton candy making machine

i wanted to play as many music instruments i could

and the list goes on believe me.

these 7 months, ive gone from looking and reading thru courses from psych to business, culinary arts to law, and even theatre to dance.

ive even looked thru music courses. but still, i didnt want to do any of those at all. just reading what they were about started wearing down my passion for it. and over my dead body la i wanna kill my passion.

even me doing my music these few months took a beating. i was blocked up, worn out, dried out and just plain tired of it. but even then i had this want to just get back to it. find new ways around the blocks. and keep at it. i had to go thru this to figure out how much i wanted this.. or was interested in this. and now i do know.

if 7 months isnt enough to conclude a passion.. i dont know what is. ok maybe sometimes it takes longer but oh well.

you get the point.

so now i enter uni. doing something i have an interest in. but not something i wanna end up doing. and the question i ask is this :

millions of us do this.. but why?

i'm gona make my life count for something. and this is definately not it.

do we really have to do, what we have to do?

because i'm not gona sit at a desk for a 9-5 job and hope to express myself

do we live life, hoping for it to happen, or do we make it happen?

these 7 months made me know that im not gonna lean on my own understanding but His.

well, gota get ready. orientation's in exactly 2 weeks. bag, car, apartment.. man, life's really moving on. and it waits for no one.

kinda slow for me to learn it rite? haha

gone were the days of it being just... pencilbox, tupperware, shoes... 

now i think i know why they call it golden memories.

i miss school very much.

ming out