jumpstart #2

hey people of the world.

mildly short-long update now. life's been freaking hectic. getting back on ur feet in the midst of assignments and exams and gigs is definitely the hardest thing to do

so yeah. other than work a few gigs have come and went. and i thank God for everything He has blessed my "band mates" and me with. i dont know how to call them bandmates kuz its not really a band but its not really not a band either so yeah.

 it really makes a difference when u go into something totally surrendered and all for His glory when He really takes hold of it and turns it into more than you can imagine.

hopefully i'll be back more often kuz now i have a proper reason to update my youtube. so please check back if u have the time!

other than that. life has been really something nowadays. seeing things ive missed out on. seeing things ive been blind to. and just seeing things for what they are. myself included, ive done things that i wish i hadnt and things that im sorry for. and i guess its better to fix them up now then let them creep into my personality or something

yeah its hard..


it amazes me though, how some people can be the way they are. for one, how some parents can let anger take control of them to a point where they dont even care about their own child's feelings. they dont even treat her as a person. she's mentally slow and in a wheelchair for freaking crying out loud. how in the world can u live each day knowing ur bombarding your own child, this person who's "close" to you, and just keep at it?

and she, in the state she's in, struggles to "live each day with a smile" as she puts it. i dont get it. where's the humanity in anger?




anger. it knows no bounds, no friends, no enemies. everything is but one: a target. it has but one concern: self.
it has no guilt when it happens. no purpose. no explanation. it consumes and destroys anything and everything from within. it is biased. weighted. shameless. proud. creates it's own reasons and makes them its law.

it knows no good or bad. it only knows itself. it forgets conveniently, and remembers selectively.

it burns outside, and in.




and if the past two months have proven to me something, anger is something i will do my best not to sink to. something i will devote my life against. unless if it's to stick up for what i believe in, for what i love and not blindly shoot it off like how ive seen it been



i think one thing that puzzles myself is the way i am, emotionally.

sometimes i WANT to be angry. it's so simple to be. it's the easiest choice.

cause i dont deserve some things that have been dealt out to me.

with a simple click of the mouse, or the push of the enter button, blowing up of profanities, cursing, spreading words.. i can repay what ive been given.

its that simple.

it is, THAT simple..





but what just.. confuses my own self.. is the fact that i cant. call it a refusal to sink or what shit. i cant



i guess in the eyes of anger. a person is reduced to a thing. a thing with no rights, no say, no dignity. and i dont see it that way.


people. are people. like me. like you. like everyone. and that's the fact of life.






i think what makes it worth it now is that ive opened my eyes to it. so be it, punching bag or scratchpost. if that is what people need, that is what i will be.

if someone slaps you on your left cheek, offer him your right.


good bye world. time to do work.


ming out