a third of the year gone again

hello world. it's me again. and i'm still alive. so before this place grows dim again, i thought i'd update.

i don't think words can express the amount of things that have been going on in my life throughout this 9 months that have passed. neither could i attempt to even try. but i'd probably want to highlight something important that has been impressed upon my heart very strongly throughout it all.


i believe that in this life, irregardless of what people have said, irregardless of who has said it; that all true battles lie within ourselves.


i've found that if we don't have steadiness in our own souls and spirits, no amount of steady rock will hold our feet

i've found that if we don't have the desire for proper truth within our hearts, no amount of laws, rules, or even justice will define what we believe.

i've realised that everything bottles down to what lies within. sure, we can train our physique to be strong. we can blame it outwards, and say that

people around us are impossible

situations around us are impossible

we could have never helped what has happened

it was totally out of our control.

yes we can. yes they were. yes it was. and yes it will be.


but to say, "he/she/it/they/these situations made me this way"

no, i will not believe that.



because somewhere along the way, we had a choice.


a choice to take it out the easy way; to go with the flow, to succumb to anger or lust, to bask in glory, attention and limelight

and a choice to tough it out the hard way; to be patient, to hold your tongue, reject that next drink, to say no, to obey



good things never come easy.
and the bad things serve themselves to us at our doorstep, properly disguised, properly equipped to destroy


i think the phrase "i cannot" should only be used for things such as

• fly like a bird
• grow 6 more feet
• eat through my toes
• shoot fire out my eyes

i think that the phrase "i cannot" should never come before the word
"change"



we certainly changed a few things to get to where we are now, didnt we?







these few months have taught me that the real enemy
is ourselves.
our major battles and wars are fought inside us, not out

because the only person we can never escape is us
and the only person you can truly fool is yourself





so maybe, if we stopped looking around
and asking why is this or that happening to me
and looked inside
searched the choices we have made, the excuses and reasons we have used to get out of the guilt and shame of ourselves


maybe we'd find that the only thing standing between what we never want and what we do

is us



food for thought, i hope.
goodnight world
ming out